So I had to have a little surgery a week or so ago, and not exactly being the world’s most patient person you can imagine how the swelling in my midsection has been effecting my state of mind. And let’s not forget that my typical level of activity has been greatly reduced to nothing beyond the standard walk. And not my standard walk, the standard, standard walk. So, okay, we shall walk… and walk and walk and walk every single day for the next four weeks until not only is the pre-op state of my waistline restored, but also to keep it that way until I am given the go-ahead to jump right back into my normal workout routine.
And even though the whole recovery thing is giving me a bit of the blahs, I still go out, chin up, and smile at every single person I walk by. For one thing, it’s just the polite thing to do – I’m exercising, you’re exercising… nothing wrong with a little camaraderie, right?! And maybe it’s because I am moving a little slower than my norm, but I just seem to be passing by the same people over and over on any given outing. One of those people being this one particular girl today that has lingered in my head – a bit heavier, wearing her biggest, baggiest tee out there walking, exercising, making her effort just like the rest of us, and we must have passed each other at least 3 times. But each time we passed and I smiled, she looked down or looked away and it kind of broke my heart a little. Because it reminded me of that skinny girl/fat girl stereotyping that big and small girls alike are so sadly famous for – and all I could imagine was her thinking, “oh, she must be laughing at me because she’s so little – look at the poor fat girl”, yet what I was really thinking was, “you go girl – way to take charge – keep up the good work”.
Maybe I will pass her again tomorrow or the next day and maybe if I keep smiling at her she will finally, chin up, look back at me, and smile too. That is my hope, not because I need to be acknowledged, but because she does, so maybe if I keep acknowledging her she will find that within her self.
And then I came home and remembered seeing this posted this morning (thanks Lisa) and it inspired me to share this story with the likes of you :).
This to me is beautiful. This to me IS standard. This body I would actually kill for!!! And it is the body I do kill myself for. Sure I wanna be fit girl – but I wanna be THAT fit girl! Marilyn Monroe, Sophia Loren, Jane Russell, the great Mae West!! Those!! Those women were fierce – those are the women I aspire to be – not the Kate Moss’ and such of the world.
I despise our societies standards as to what is fit and what is fierce and what is beautiful – if you have read my blog, then you know this is nothing new coming from me. I have curves – they may be petite – but they are without a doubt there!! And as we all know, I LOVE my curves – adore them actually!! I embrace them; I showcase them always for the world to see!!
(Yeah, yeah, I know, I will always tell you, just 5 more pounds, but honestly, it’s just how I keep my mind focused on that state of constant forward progress – that “I’m good, but I can always be better” mentality. That and I’m just a bit nuts that way – there are worse mindsets to have, you know, haha!!)
So to that girl I passed this morning, I say to you what one of my dearest friends just said to me the other day, “what’s that saying… ‘chin up, chest out’…”?!
Yep… something like that… ;) xoxo